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Topic: Becoming A ‘Help Meet’ (3)

Dear Reader,

In previous series, I explained how both the man and woman have the responsibility of being a ‘help meet’ to each other. I also mentioned that if you have the knowledge of your position in the home, you will be able to carry out your role effectively as a ‘help meet’. There is a purpose why you are created for each other; knowing this will go a long way in making your home “heaven-on-earth”. You shall not fail in Jesus’ name!

To both the man and woman, let me ask you this question: Are you ‘Helping or Hurting’ your spouse? I am sure you have an answer. However, you are meant to be a help, meeting the needs of your spouse. Your spouse’s life should be better, as a result of his/her association with you.

There are some things you know about your spouse that nobody else knows. You are, however, not to use that against your partner. Do not use your spouse’s weaknesses to score a point, thereby disgracing them in public. Rather, as a ‘help meet’, you are to surround your spouse with the necessary assistance in those identified weak areas. God wants you to help your partner with all the spiritual, emotional and physical aid required.

Be a helper, not a destroyer, an asset, not a liability, a blessing, not a burden and a soothing balm, not a thorn in the flesh. You know what a thorn does? It makes life uncomfortable and unbearable. It causes pains. That is how some people are to their spouses – a grief of heart.  Instead of assisting, they surround their spouses with thorns and thistles. They have made marriage a bed of thorns, instead of roses.

There is a pathetic story of Isaac and Rebecca in the Bible.  Rebecca failed in her duty as Isaac’s ‘help meet’ and she played an unpleasant role in the incidence of Jacob stealing Esau’s blessing.  Isaac was old and so could not see because his eyes were dim.  Rebecca knew her husband’s weakness; rather than complement him by helping him, she exploited the situation by “assisting” her favourite son, Jacob, to steal Esau’s blessing.

It was Rebecca that initiated the idea of Jacob stealing Esau’s blessing.  Even when Jacob noted the loopholes in the plan, Rebecca still convinced him to go ahead.  Without her support, Jacob would not have been able to deceive Isaac to steal Esau’s blessing.

You have observed the downward trend in your spouse’s spiritual life; yet, you don’t care. Rather than take positive steps, you tongue-lash and pat yourself on the back for being more “spiritual”.  By so doing, you are treading on shaky ground, because very soon, you will realise that the body cannot move when any part of it has been knocked off!

Here is a testimony of a sister to this effect:

“I have been married for the past 10 years, and since then, there has been no peace in the home. For me, marriage wasn’t good. Things were just upside down. I had a child in 1993, and it died.  I also had a series of miscarriages.  I used to drive a car, but it was no more.  It was as if everything came to a halt!

My husband started coming to Winners’ Chapel in January 1997. He didn’t ask me to come with him, because I was already attending another Pentecostal church.  Yet, there was no peace in the home. The situation worsened; and in June 1997, the tension was so high that I said, ‘Lord, what will I do?’ I said to my husband, ‘If this is what marriage is all about, let us call it quit.’  Then, he replied, ‘Well, the door is wide open. You can go’.  It was then I had a rethink.

I came to Winners’ Chapel in June, and I began to hear the Bishop say, ‘I have been married for many years now, and there hasn’t been any concern or problem in my home.’ I said to myself, ‘Is it on this earth or on another planet?’

But somehow, God has done it for me, too! Now I know I had been the problem, not my husband. My husband is a perfect gentleman! The Bishop’s wife says that if there was anything as another life, she would still choose to marry her husband.  I, too, can joyfully say the same thing today!” – Neburabo, R.

It takes salvation to experience a new beginning. If you desire to experience this new beginning in your family this year, you need to surrender your life to Jesus Christ and He will give you the power you need to give positive contributions to your spouse. If you are ready to make Jesus your Lord and personal Saviour, please say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord, I come to You today.  I am a sinner.  Forgive me of my sins.  Cleanse me with Your precious Blood.  I accept You as my Lord and Saviour.  Now I know I am born again!

Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name! Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org or08141320204, 07026385437.

For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

Pastor Faith Oyedepo is the wife of Bishop David Oyedepo, the founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide a.k.a. Winners’ Chapel, and Senior Pastor of Faith Tabernacle, Canaanland, Ota, Nigeria.


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