Pastor Faith Oyedepo

Child Training: Joint Responsibility of Both Parents [Part 2]

Dear Reader,

You are welcome to another glorious week. Last week, I discussed about accepting parental responsibility. Today, I shall be discussing the effective tools for child training.

Ecclesiastes 10:15 says: The labour of the foolish wearieth every one of them, because he knoweth not how to go to the city. There is the “how to” for every instruction in the Word of God. A discovery of the “how to” in child training will guarantee your rest over your children.

The Word of God
The importance of rearing your children to appreciate the Word of God as a compass for their lives, cannot be over-emphasized. The Word of God says: Your word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path (Psalm 119:105). It is your responsibility to impact the light of God’s Word into your children. Once light gains access into them, no matter where they find themselves on earth, it becomes impossible for darkness to overcome them. When light shines in them, they will become masters over darkness.

You need to spend time to teach your children God’s Word. If they are small, read it to them. Buy Bibles that are easy to understand for them. You can also use picture books, drama, etc. For those in the womb, you can still read it to them daily. Place your hand on your tummy and speak to that child, and it will be impossible for the devil to tamper with him or her. Let the Word of God dwell richly in them. Do whatever is within your power, to sow the good seed of God’s Word in them.

Love and Control
Love and Control work hand in hand as twin brothers. No child can do without love. A child you do not love, you cannot control and a child you have no control over, you cannot claim to love. Your children need your unconditional love. Some parents believe that you don’t show a child too much love or you spoil him. But it is the foundation for successful training. The Word of God says: Charity suffers long, and is kind; charity envies not; charity braggs not itself, is not puffed up (I Corinthians 13:4 (AKJV).

What can spoil a child is love without control. Every child needs a combination of both, to be a successful adult. Whatever a child ends up being in the society, is a function of the training he receives at home, and part of that training is in the area of control. God has given human beings natural desires, but when those desires are not controlled, they lead to abuse. As parents, your responsibility is to ensure that your children learn to discipline their natural desires.
Control, also means the ability to apply disciplinary measures to correct misbehaviour. I have observed that women generally like to say when a child does something wrong, “Your father will soon come, just wait for him.” But if you cannot discipline him or her when his father is not at home, you are failing in your responsibility.

Love is very patient and kind…. It is never glad about injustice, but rejoices whenever truth wins out (1 Corinthians 13:4, 6 (NLT). When administering the instruments of discipline, remember that love is patient and kind. If you have to beat your children at all, do not beat them till they are injured. Do not allow discipline to degenerate to child abuse. Always let your children know that you love them and that your reason for disciplining them is because of your love for them. It is important for you to know that children are very sensitive, so if your actions and words do not portray that you love them, they will doubt it even if you say it. Therefore, it becomes mandatory that you do these two things: –

Develop A Relationship Of Mutual Trust With Your Children
Let them know you trust them, by admitting your mistakes when necessary and asking for their forgiveness, if need be. Never be too proud to say, “I am sorry” to your children when you have made a mistake … Do not irritate and provoke your children to anger …. But rear them tenderly in the training and discipline and the counsel and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:4 (AMP). Encourage them to confide in you, just as you confide in them. Treat them as people and not as inferiors; this will help their self-image.

Always Demonstrate Your Love
The Lord Jesus, who is our perfect example, demonstrated His love for the children, when He rebuked His disciples for turning them back. He said: Let the children come to me ! Never send them away! For the kingdom of God belongs to men who have hearts as trusting as these little children’s (Luke 18:16 (TLB). Then he took the children into His arms and placed His hands on their heads and He blessed them (Mark 10:16 (TLB).

This is an example of how to show love to your children. Take note of the following in the above scriptures: The Lord Jesus carried them and laid His hands on them. As a parent, learn to carry, hug and kiss your children. Touch your children, and let them touch you in return. The Lord Jesus is not an high priest that cannot be touched. For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched… (Hebrews 4:15). Also He blessed them. Ensure that you compliment your children. Remember, your words are very powerful, and your children will become what you say about them.

A wise man once said, “A torn jacket is soon mended; but hard words bruise the heart of a child.” This means that if your children tore their jackets, it can be mended; but if you abuse or speak hard words to them, you bruise their hearts and the “tear” in their heart is much more difficult to amend than their torn jackets! So, be careful what you say to your children!

The ability to love and control your children can only come, by identifying with God, confessing your sins, repenting of them and accepting Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour. Therefore, if you are not born again and want to be, you have to confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Saviour and your Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my Sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail:,; Tel.  No: 08141320204; 07026385437.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores:

  • Making Marriage Work
  • Marriage Covenant
  • Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

Click Here To Read Other Messages Written By Pastor Faith Oyedepo

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