Child Training: Joint Responsibility of Both Parents [Part 5]

Dear Reader,

For the past few weeks, I have been talking about child training as a joint responsibility for both parents. This week, I want to talk about something that has robbed many from entering into the fullness of God’s blessings for their home – the place of the home in child training.

Some parents lay up money, houses, clothes, cars and other possessions as an inheritance for their children. But the greatest inheritance you can leave behind for your children, like I have being emphasizing for the past few weeks, is a good Christian up-bringing. The best environment to transfer and impart that on your children is the home.

So do not transfer your responsibility. No matter how good or expensive a school is or how glorious the church is, there is no better environment than the home. What these other places transmit to your children cannot be compared with what your home transmits to them. The school, church or society, are only meant to complement the home; they cannot take the place of the home.

Some parents even send their children to boarding schools, for the sole purpose of shying away from their responsibility and for more freedom, according to them. I pray that the freedom you think you are having today will not become a snare to you tomorrow in Jesus’ mighty name.

No other place can take the place of the home. When it is time for school, let them go; when it is time for Church, let them go. But remember that they are coming back home to meet you. Don’t claim to be too busy for your children, especially in these fast moving days. Whatever seeds you sow in their lives today will bear fruits tomorrow. Genesis 8:22 says: While the earth remaineth, seedtime and harvest, and cold and heat, and summer and winter, and day and night shall not cease. It is important for you to note that children spend more time at home than any other place.
Now, let us consider two main ways by which the home affects the children.

Leading By Example

Children can be adequately taught by example. The Word of God says: Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity (1 Timothy 4:12). Children are natural mimics. No matter what you teach them, they learn by example. It is not enough to instruct your children on what to do or what not to do; they must see you do what you are preaching. “An ounce of example is worth a ton of preaching.” Children want to follow the examples of their parents. You can hide your real self from your friends and co-workers in your office, but it’s impossible to do so before your children at home. So, whatever character trait you do not want to see in your children, ensure it has been dealt with in your own life first.

Children are a reflection of their parents. Murmuring, grumbling and complaining parents will definitely have murmuring, grumbling and complaining children. Stingy parents will have stingy children. You know like begets like. Everything reproduces after its kind. Your children will prefer to do just what you do, than do what you preach. Simply ensure that what you do and what you say are the same. You should live a life worthy of emulation. The above Scripture instructs you as a parent to be an example in words. I believe this means the words of the mouth. You need to watch your words.
Many times, out of anger, you may want to abuse your children, but if you let those words escape out of your lips, you have sown a negative seed. Don’t speak carelessly, not even when you are angry. Let your words be gracious, life-transforming and destiny-moulding. Jacob, while pronouncing a benediction on his children, declared to Reuben: Thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power: Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel; (Genesis 49:3-4). It happened exactly like that! 1 Chronicles 5:1 is a fulfillment of those words.

Developing A Pattern Of Good Habit

Develop a pattern of good habits for your children. Your children need to be taught how to be diligent, not lazy and irresponsible. As a parent, you need to train them up in good habits, with fun, good will and consistency. As children mature into teenagers, it becomes more difficult to develop these habits.

Teach them to make their beds, tidy their rooms, bathroom and clean out the dishes after a meal. As they grow, teach them how to cook. For them to be motivated, it’s good to reward them with praise. Personal cleanliness such as regular baths, brushing of their teeth, washing of their underwear and others, should be carefully supervised until a good habit is formed.
They must be taught to be orderly and careful with their toys, clothes and books. Also, it is important for you to help your children manage their time properly. They should have regular times for going to bed, studying and doing their home work, as well as time for devotion. Psychologists say it is important for each child to have his place in the house: his own chair (side where he sits at the dining table), his own place in the car, in the room (if shared with other children), his own space. It makes him feel special and like an individual. Cultivating these habits takes a process of time, so be patient with your children.

I am sure God has opened your eyes to something new today. I pray that God will grant you the grace to perform in Jesus’ mighty name. Concerning your children, shame shall not be your portion in Jesus’ mighty name.

If you are not born again and want to be, you have to confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Saviour and your Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today as a sinner. Forgive me of my Sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail:,; Tel.  No: 08141320204; 07026385437.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores:

  • Making Marriage Work
  • Marriage Covenant
  • Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

Click Here To Read Other Messages Written By Pastor Faith Oyedepo

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