Importance of pre-wedding counselling and the advantages it brings

It is worrying that many prospective couples seeking to live their wedding dreams spend months preparing for the wedding day, wrapped up in all its excitements and anxieties, yet they overlook the importance of pre-wedding counselling and the advantages it brings when the love cookies start to crumble.

Considering the rising figures of marital separations and divorces, especially among young men and women, it has become imperative for prospective couples to attend pre-marital counselling programmes so that they can strengthen their chances of staying together in marriage.

There is an assumption that counselling is only for relationships experiencing problems and not for couples in love, but the primary objective of pre-wedding counselling is to help couples identify looming problems and proffer solutions wherever possible so as to maintain a happy and healthy marriage.

Ask questions
In the midst of the fancy wedding details and the distraction from families and friends, take time out to ask yourselves questions which can be uncomfortable with either party but sensitive that if left unanswered may crop up many years later.

Discuss issues such as finances, faith, divorce, personal problems, goals and aspirations, children; family crisis which has affected marriages in your family are likely to affect yours if not properly managed. Identifying and discussing certain issues which may strain your marriage if not tackled are reasons to attend pre-marital counselling.

Find answers
If you have difficulties talking through the issues of your lives, you may find it difficult to resolve your conflicts too. Pre-wedding counselling would enable you to overcome and resolve your issues amicably when they come up.

Pre-wedding counselling allows you to talk openly about individual responsibilities as well as roles you jointly share. Also allow your partner to understand your faith and beliefs.

Parents are your first role models and if bad habits are inherited from your them, it can affect your marriage. Family influences and dynamics are the traits many people exhibit in their marriages; identifying your habits and discussing ways to overcome them can be achieved through pre-marriage counselling.

Pre-wedding counselling can help you to communicate better, resolve your problems and spend less time disagreeing on issues and more time understanding each other.

Who can counsel?
Pre-wedding counselling can be performed by professionals like psychologists or marriage therapists, religious leaders, counsellors, or experienced couples who have been married for several years and still enjoying blissful unions.

A professional marriage or family therapist will be required if the issues to discuss are complex. These usually consult under private practices and charge for services rendered.

Religious leaders and counsellors can provide pre- and post-wedding counselling to members of their religious sects.

Couples with years of experience can also serve as mentors to young couples through sharing of experiences.

All these people have different ways and skills to help you identify and overcome your problems so that you can both enjoy your marriage in peace and harmony.

Notes

1. Pre-marital counselling can save your marriage from constant disagreements, which can lead to frustration and depression.
2. A problem shared is a problem solved; therefore, invest and nurture good relationships with couples whose marriages you admire and find mentors who can be good role models to you.
3. It is important to equip yourselves with the necessary tools needed to strengthen your marriage commitment through pre-wedding counselling so that you can both enter the marriage with a clear vision which will help you fulfill your purpose in life.

By Elizabeth Badejo