Kemi Oyedepo: I Forgive Myself

Author: Kemi Oyedepo

Topic: I Forgive Myself

I did something wrong by mistake some time ago and I didn’t even realise it. The following day, while my husband and I were on our way to work, he noticed my error and told me. I was in shock and was so upset with myself that it changed my once happy and excited mood. He tried to liven up the environment and I would just giggle and go back to being upset with myself. I kept asking myself how I could do such a thing, even though it was not intentional. My husband looked at me and said “you must learn to self-forgive”. Wow! That set me free instantly.

Such a simple sentence, yet it was so profound and made a major impact on me. I admit that sometimes for me, self-forgiveness is not something I am the best at, especially when it affects others negatively. I am getting much better but I used to dwell on my mistakes so much, even after I had corrected the wrong. When I got to my office that day, I began to ponder on that statement and the Holy Spirit dropped in me that not forgiving myself is the same thing as not forgiving another person;

He said that although I like to go on about forgiving others, I must not exempt myself from it. Basically, that means that if I hold a grudge against myself (I know that sounds odd), it means I would belittle myself, be bitter against myself for my mistakes and even lose confidence in myself.

Many of us are just like that. We talk and think about what we should have or have not done; what we could have or have not done; wasting time and wasting years crying over our mistakes – intentional and unintentional. And the truth is that God is patiently waiting for us to pick ourselves up and carry on, so He can still use us for His glory. Dwelling on could have’s and should have’s has never done anybody any good, so if you are in such a situation, pick yourself up and keep moving.

One thing that helps me is that I constantly remind myself that time is not waiting for me; crying over spilled milk will keep be low and on the same spot. I can either see it as a lesson learned from my mistakes and keep striving for better, or beat myself up over it. So, in order not to let my mistakes get the best of me, I have the habit of saying “I Forgive Myself”, and that makes all the difference. Try it sometimes – in big issues and little issues, you will be set free by it and gather up the courage to try again or keep forging ahead. Someone said it best this way – “unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize the situation is over, you cannot move forward”!