TOPIC: Handling Marital Delay [RCCG Sunday School STUDENT Manual 8 March 2020]
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MEMORY VERSE “Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.” – Proverbs 18:22
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BIBLE PASSAGE: Genesis 29:15-21 KJV (RCCG Sunday School STUDENT Manual 8 March 2020)
15 And Laban said unto Jacob, Because thou art my brother, shouldest thou therefore serve me for nought? tell me, what shall thy wages be?
16 And Laban had two daughters: the name of the elder was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.
17 Leah was tender eyed; but Rachel was beautiful and well favoured.
18 And Jacob loved Rachel; and said, I will serve thee seven years for Rachel thy younger daughter.
19 And Laban said, It is better that I give her to thee, than that I should give her to another man: abide with me.
20 And Jacob served seven years for Rachel; and they seemed unto him but a few days, for the love he had to her.
21 And Jacob said unto Laban, Give me my wife, for my days are fulfilled, that I may go in unto her.
INTRODUCTION:
Marriage is an institution ordained by God since the creation of man (Gen. 2:18). The divine order is that man should not be alone and that no one should lack his/her mate (Isaiah 34:16). Marital delay is, therefore, a situation whereby someone who is ‘due’ or ‘ready’ to marry is not yet married as a result of circumstances, sometimes, beyond his/her control. It should be noted, however, that anyone who chooses not to marry for ‘genuine’ reasons may not be in error (Matthew 19:12, 1Corinthians 7:7-8). Marital delay is a global phenomenon that gives parents, pastors, relatives, church members, marriage counsellors and the society at large serious concern. Hence, as believers, it is important to learn how to manage such a situation.
OUTLINES
- LIKELY CAUSES OF MARITAL DELAY
- WHAT TO DO WHILE YOU WAIT
1. LIKELY CAUSES OF MARITAL DELAY
Here are some of the possible causes of marital delay. While some may be beyond the control of the victims, others can be worked upon by those experiencing the delay.
- CHARACTER DEFECT: Such as anger, malice, laziness, dirtiness, inferiority/superiority complex, overbearing, stubbornness, pride, etc. May repel prospective partners from someone due for marriage (Proverbs 21:9,19, Eccl. 10:1, 2Corinthians 10:12, Proverbs 16:18).
- HIGH MINDEDNESS: Waiting for or insisting on marrying a partner of high educational status, high standard of living, and high paying job in a reputation organization, wealthy family background, and top position in office or society, high level of spirituality, tall and heavily built, physically beautiful etc. Although, these qualities are good and desirable, such personalities may not be easily found (Phil. 2:3).
- EXCESSIVE CAREER FOCUS: Excessive focus on one’s career or business at the expense of preparation for marital relationship sometimes leads to delay in getting married (Eccl. 1:3-4).
- EMOTIONAL TRAUMA: Past experiences of failed relationships, sexual abuses, disappointment, domestic violence, parental/guardian misconduct, etc. usually constitute emotional imbalance for the victim and may lead to marital delay (Isaiah 43:18, Psalm 147:3)
- RACIAL/TRIBAL SENTIMENTS: Most people who practice this are sometimes compelled or supported by their parents who insist they only get married to people from a particular race or tribe (Romans 10:12, Galatians 3:28).
- DELAY IN OTHER OF LIFE ACHIEVEMENT: Experience of delay in other spheres of life like educational pursuit, employment, financial stability etc, may be stumbling blocks to timely marriage (Psalm 90:14)
- DEMONIC INFLUENCE OR GENERATIONAL CURSE: Like in the case of Daniel’s petition, some marital delays are as a result of demonic influence (Daniel 10:12-13). Others may experience marital delay due to unbroken generational covenants or curses.
2. WHAT TO DO WHILE YOU WAIT
Those who are experiencing delay in getting married should not get so desperate to the point of falling into wrong hands. Rather, they should patiently hold on to God’s promises (Hebrews 10:36) and exercise self-discipline (1Corinthians 6:12). In humility, they should define there relationship with the opposite sex, avoid unnecessary hang-out and beware of exploiters (Prov. 6:3, Proverbs 12:26).
Some may also need to work on their character flaws by manifesting the fruit of the Holy Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23). Being positive in reasoning, actions and reactions can be very helpful, believing that with God nothing shall be impossible (Jeremiah 32:27). Pay attention to your health, physical appearance, mannerism and live responsibly (S.Sol 2:14, 5:15, Psalm 122:5). Pray against the forces of delay working against your life and family (1Corinthians 4:10).
CONCLUSION:
God created us to fulfil diverse purposes irrespective of our marital status. Delay in getting married should not be viewed as a denial of the fulfilment of God’s promises. Wait on God and He will surely settle your case.
QUESTIONS:
- Briefly Discuss Some Likely Causes Of Marital Delay
- Identify What A Victim Of Marital Delay Should Do While Waiting
RCCG Sunday School HYMN
- O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day, Thy friendship suits me well,
Both young and old will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds black with rain,
I’ll be in Sunday School. - O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?
