TOPIC: Conflict Management In The Family [Sunday, 15th April 2018]

OPENING PRAYER: Father, uproot every instrument of conflict in our families in Jesus’ name. Let our power restore peace ‘n our families (Scroll down for SUNDAY SCHOOL HYMN)

Bible Passage: Genesis 13:7-9

7 And there was a strife between the herdmen of Abram’s cattle and the herdmen of Lot’s cattle: and the Canaanite and the Perizzite dwelled then in the land.

8 And Abram said unto Lot, Let there be no strife, I pray thee, between me and thee, and between my herdmen and thy herdmen; for we be brethren.

9 Is not the whole land before thee? separate thyself, I pray thee, from me: if thou wilt take the left hand, then I will go to the right; or if thou depart to the right hand, then I will go to the left.

MEMORY VERSE: “Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men,” Romans 12:17

A family is defined as a group of people related by blood, marriage, law (e.g. adoption) or custom. Generally, conflict can be defined as strong disagreement between people, groups, etc., that results in often angry argument. Conflict management is the practice of being able to identify and handle conflicts sensibly, fairly, and efficiently. Conflict is inevitable. No relationship is perfect or conflict free, but conflict when managed biblically can serve as a catalyst for change and opportunity for a good family growth.

One may be surprised to discover that both riches and poverty cause conflict. Solomon knew that wherever poverty bites hard, there will be conflict. )Proverbs 30:8-9). In today’s Bible passage, it was riches or wealth that originated strife between Lot and his uncle, Abraham. Genesis 13:6-11 mentioned a few things which can lead to conflict.
i. Material factor of riches can cause conflict. Gen.13:6
ii. Land or space can be another cause of conflict. Gen. 13:6
iii. The original human factor behind the conflict between Abraham and his nephew were their servants (herdsmen). This calls for proper management of staff, house help, labourers. Gen. 13:7
iv. Abraham demonstrated maturity in resolving the crises in the following ways. (Gen. 13:8):
a. Abraham called his nephew to a round table discussion. He charged him not to allow strife. Gen. 13:8
b. Abraham identified the sources of the conflict was strife among the herdsmen. Gen. 13:7
c. Abraham understood the fact that the unbelievers were watching and it was unacceptable for them to strife when the Canaaniteses and Perizzites were watching. Gen. 13:7
d. Abraham accepted to forgo the right of “first choice” Being an elder to Lot, he should choose first, but he allowed his brother to make the first choice for the sake of peace. Gen. 13:9, 11.
e. Abraham considered the land as nothing worth dying for “is not the whole land before you” Gen. 13:9
There comes the question, where is our maturity in conflict.? Some leaders or followers could fight in public for a few provisions, some may extend their fists to the church or even vestry. Some people are ready to die for what is not worth dying for, etc. We do not need to be DEAD RIGHT for a right we can allow. We can tow the path of peace instead.



i. Misunderstanding among members of immediate or extended family.
ii. Contradictory interest among family members.
iii. Incompatibility (Amos 3:3).
iv. Unresolved disagreement. Eph.4:26-27.
v. Lack of trust. Prov. 31:11.
vi.Unforgiveness. 2Cor. 2:10-11.
vii. Communication gap. Heb.13:16.
viii. Unfaithfulness. Gen 39:7-12.
ix. Financial challenges. 1Tim 6:8-10.
x. Lack of genuine love. Col.3:19; 1Pet.1:22.

Class Activity 1: How can we control the role of selfish interest in family conflicts?


i. Examine yourselves. Ps. 26:2; 2Cor.13:5.
ii. Love God and put Him at the centre of your family. Deut. 6:4-5.
iii. Forgive one another. Lk. 17:3; Eph. 4:26.
iv. Communicate effectively and resolve all conflicts as fast as possible. Rom.12:17-18.
v. Maintain openness and sincerity with one another. Gen.2:25.
vi. Live a life of humility. Prov.29:23; Jer.13:18.
vii. Love one another. I Pet. 1:22.
viii. Revenge not yourself for wrongs done against you. Rom. 12:19.
ix. Commit your ways to the Lord. Ps. 37:5.
x. Take every matter to God in prayers. Jas. 5:16.

Class Activity 2: What role can love for brethren play in resolving family conflict?

SUMMARY: Let there be no strife among us. Gen. 13:8a

CONCLUSION: According to the word of God, all old conflicts must be resolved while there should not be occasion for a new one for God to accept our worship. Matt. 5:23-25 5.

EVALUATION: How can we avoid conflict in the family?

CLOSING PRAYER: O God, let peace reign in our families.

ASSIGNMENT: Give five counsels at a family meeting to resolve material conflict e.g. Heritage.

Read previous RCCG Sunday School Teacher’s Manual Here


1. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
O how I love Thee well,
I am happy, it makes me glad
To rejoice at Thy birth.

2. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day, Thy friendship suits me well,
Both young and old will sing Thy song,
We long for Sunday School.

3. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Christ was Thy first teacher,
The Holy Spirit, great teacher,
Does manifest in thee.

4. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
This testimony is sure,
That God, the Father Almighty,
Poured His blessing on Thee.

5. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
Though the sun be so bright,
Or if the clouds black with rain,
I’ll be in Sunday School.

6. O Sunday School, on the Lord’s day,
I rejoice to see Thee,
Will thou pass over me today?
Without my being blest?