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Kemi Oyedepo

I don’t know about you but anytime I hear or read about a separation or divorce, it grieves me so much. In fact, whether I know the person or not, in that moment, I try to feel their pain. I often times wish I could just get across to them, to speak to them, to let them know that there is still so much hope for them. To let them know that God, the authentic Manufacturer of marriage, has everything it takes to renew, remold and restore what has been damaged.

Then I realize that all I can really do is pray for them and ask God to open the eyes of their understanding so that they don’t throw in the towel, or that they pick up the towel, hang it in the sun to dry and get to work. Sometimes there has been restoration and other times, the divorce or separation was a done deal. Whatever the case, I have learnt not to judge or blame but keep praying. I believe something just went wrong somewhere and I remind myself that it is an enemy that has done this (Matthew 13:25-28)!

The devil takes pleasure in seeing what God created for our good, bring us pain. I don’t blame him because that’s his nature. However, I strongly believe that we have everything it takes to disappoint him to the maximum. I wish more of us were spiritually sensitive or awake in our marriages and didn’t just see it as a fairytale that just brings a happy ending without our input.

I wish more of us focused on pleasing God, not just our spouses, and definitely, not ourselves.

I wish more of us took marriage more seriously. In fact, I wish more of us understood that marriage is more spiritual than physical.

I wish! I wish! I wish!

You see, when the enemy sowed weed among the wheat in that scripture above, it was while everyone was asleep. It was while they were not paying attention. Without putting all the blame on the devil, we also need to guard our marriages and families jealously. The truth is that nobody is exempted. The devil will try to pry his way into any marriage and any family but it’s up to us not to allow him in. No wonder the scriptures tell us to be vigilant!

You see, when the enemy sowed weed among the wheat in that scripture above, it was while everyone was asleep. It was while they were not paying attention. Without putting all the blame on the devil, we also need to guard our marriages and families jealously. The truth is that nobody is exempted. The devil will try to pry his way into any marriage and any family but it’s up to us not to allow him in. No wonder the scriptures tell us to be vigilant!

“Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil. He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour” – 1 Peter 5:8

I have learnt that those who have gone through separation or divorce never planned for it. It happened for various reasons but the crux usually is that the spiritual side is not considered paramount. Some felt they were spiritual enough and became too comfortable. Others didn’t see the need to be spiritually sensitive in their marriage. Others simply didn’t know. Whatever the reason may be, a broken marriage never feels good.

Please know that one second of carnality is enough for the enemy to do damage. So it’s important that we stay awake spiritually. I believe it’s time for us to stop letting him have his way with us and laugh in our faces. It’s time to stop him from rejoicing in the heartache and pain many are going through. It’s time to stop him from tainting this beautiful institution. But it all begins with us.

More than any other time in history, we need an awakening to accepting personal responsibility in our marriages. The next time you hear of a marriage breakup, the person we should get angry at is the devil. Remind yourself that it is an enemy that has done this. He’s still waiting and he’s still prowling but he won’t get in!

No more sleeping. We’ve done enough of that. We won’t let him have the final say!


By Kemi Oyedepo


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