Having a Healthy Relationship with In-Laws (Part 3) By Pastor Faith Oyedepo
Topic: Having a Healthy Relationship with In-Laws (Part 3)
Peace and Blessings in Jesus name! Last week, I explained to how to place your priorities, when caring and giving to your in-laws. Today, I will be sharing on forgiveness.
Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye (Colossians 3:13).
To love your in-laws effectively, you must be ready to forgive them for the wrong they did to you in the past. I discovered from God’s Word that forgiveness is not a feeling, but it is a decision. Love is a healthier way for building and sustaining a marriage than bitterness and hatred. Unforgiveness will only spread its poison to family life, causing a gradual loss of happiness. You may have had terrible experiences with your in-laws and this may have even affected your marriage, but you must decide to forgive them.
NEGATIVE EFFECT OF UNFORGIVENESS
There are two major evils of Unforgiveness.
1. It Draws you to the Past
When you live in unforgiveness, you are trapped by the wrongs of the past. You are tied down by what your mother-in-law did, or what your sister-in-law said against you. Unforgiveness keeps bringing you back to your past. My husband once gave this illustration, if you are driving a vehicle and you keep looking backward, you may have an accident. The reason many people are not going forward in life, even after praying, reading the Bible and confessing Scriptures, is unforgiveness. This sister’s testimony is remarkable:
“Today marks three years since I started attending this church. What brought me here was my spiritual lack. I was born again five years before I came here and was attending a living church. But since I started worshipping here, God has given me the spirit of understanding, so that the Word of God and my faith have been on the increase. Most importantly, there has been captivity turn-around in my life, particularly in my marriage.
My marriage technically broke down on the wedding day, at the reception table! But I stayed on in it for almost a decade. It was a thorn in the flesh. Eventually, I had to leave. Right inside my matrimonial home, I got a SAN to prosecute the divorce.
I got born again after then, but the Word never came to me until I got to this church. There was a teaching on forgiveness. One day, which I realized that I had been living in self-righteousness all along. I forgive, but don’t forget. I got this corrected in my mind and through the anointed book Marriage Covenant, and anointed preaching’s and counseling of the men of God, my marriage was miraculously healed, and right now, I’m having a honey moon – Olaleye
Remember that your in-laws are humans too, and forgiveness should be done out of love. I don’t know who that person is that you have vowed never to forgive due to past negative experience, but you must let him or her go, so that your destiny in God will be realized.
2. It opens the door to the tormentor
Another evil of Unforgiveness is that it opens the door to the tormentor. A man in the Bible was described as wicked as a result of his unforgiving attitude. The Bible states: Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me: Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee? And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him (Mathew 18:32-34)
Unforgiveness is wickedness! An unforgiving wife, husband or sister-in-law is a wicked person and the Bible says that God is angry with the wicked every day (Psalm 7:11). Do you want to be identified with the wicked? That man was handed over to the tormentors because he refused to forgive. There are quite a number of people being tormented by the devil and his agents; they opened the door to these tormentors through Unforgiveness. Husbands, wives, when you hold on to Unforgiveness, you are saying, “Welcome” to the tormentor of life. As you clear out all forms of unforgiveness in your heart, God will restore you of all the tormentor may have stolen in Jesus’ name.
I remember the case of a certain woman who had been barren for many years. She went to see a doctor who told her that she needed to be operated upon. Fortunately, the doctor was a believer. On the day of the surgery, this woman was wheeled into the theatre ready for the operation. Then God spoke to the doctor that the reason she had been barren was because she had been holding a grudge against her brother-in-law. The doctor confronted the woman with that word and she opened up to him. She released her brother-in-law and the surgery was no longer necessary. Today, she is a joyful mother of children!
The tormentor of life can come in various forms, such as confusion among family members, depression, sickness, failure, etc., but you will not be a victim anymore! Allow the past to pass, so you can lay hold on your colourful destiny. Don’t you know that there are three days in a man’s life? Yesterday, today and tomorrow. Yesterday is gone, you can’t bring it back anymore, so let it go! Today is where you are right now and what you do in your today determines what you find in your tomorrow. Your tomorrow is great, don’t let anything keep you from it!
You need Jesus in your life to be able to truly forgive. You want to be born again please pray this prayer with faith in your heart. Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through firstname.lastname@example.org, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Building a Successful Home, Making Marriage Work and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)
Pastor Faith Oyedepo is the wife of Bishop David Oyedepo, the founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide a.k.a. Winners’ Chapel, and Senior Pastor of Faith Tabernacle, Canaanland, Ota, Nigeria.