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Author: Pastor Faith Oyedepo

Enjoying Honour in Marriage (Part 4)

Dear Reader,

You are welcome to God’s presence! So far, I have shared with you how marriage can bring honour to your life, and what to avoid in order to enjoy the honour in marriage. Last week, I showed you some of the things that hinder honour in marriage.

This week, I will be showing you How to Keep Your Teenager Pure. It is very important for many parents and children to know that the teen years are the most demanding. The dictionary defines a teenager as a person between the ages of 13-19.

Period of Transformations
Parents and children often wonder what is going on, as the teenager begins to change and ultimately become an adult. The children are wondering, “What is going on here? Why is my voice cracking? Why are my breasts hurting?” Parents are puzzled by the swings in the moods of their teenagers – one minute, they are excited, next minute they want to be alone.

A clear knowledge and understanding of the transformation that takes place in the lives of teenagers will help parents to offer relevant guidance and patiently go through this period (Proverbs 24:3). The various physical and emotional changes cause children to be alarmed, so they need the comfort and reassurance of their parents that they are normal and that everything is alright. Parents need to go beyond being parents and become friends, so that their teens can open up and confide in them.
During puberty, the sexual organs and the reproductive system begin to develop in preparation for adulthood, reproduction and childbirth. The age it begins differ from one child to another. For boys generally, puberty starts from the age of 12, while in girls it begins between the ages of 10 and 11. The hormones produced in them now give them the ability to produce a child.

Help them understand
Parents need to teach their teenagers that while having a sexual appetite is not wrong, its fulfillment is restricted to the marriage relationship alone. The Word of God says: Marriage is honourable in all and the bed undefiled… (Hebrew 13:4).
In their late teens, you have to explain the issue of sex to them because sometimes, their minds could drift towards sexual thoughts as they grow older. Explain to them that the thoughts may come, but they can tame their thoughts with spiritual weapons like the Name and Blood of Jesus, the Word, the anointing oil and confessions (Proverbs 4:23; 23:7). Being pure, in this context, refers to being a virgin or free from pre-marital sex. This is important because teenagers pass through a phase of sexual awakening referred to as puberty.

In case they become withdrawn and reserved, quiet and moody because they are not sure about what is going on in their lives, it is your duty as a good parent to explain to them and help them understand, so they can stop being withdrawn and brighten up. Let them know that God created the sexual desire within man; it is neither dirty nor evil, but God’s intention is that sexual desire be expressed in marriage not before or outside it. So, teach them how to control their desires.

Show Unconditional Love
Love or affection is an essential key to effective parenthood. No one hates to be loved and every child needs to be loved. Teenagers, in particular, need a lot of love because of the emotional changes they pass through. A feeling of not being loved can lead to a teenager getting into premarital sex, just to have such intimacy with the partner.

Spend time with your teenager in the Word of God, since God Himself ministers His love towards us through His Word. Develop a relationship of mutual trust to eliminate fear, as is the case with perfect love.

Be careful what you say to your teens; the words you speak will ultimately make or destroy your child’s future. Speak words of love, not of condemnation to them because their lives will be patterned after the words you speak.

Express Appreciation
Appreciate them for who they are and teach them to appreciate themselves. This will boost their self-esteem, help them to value themselves, choose to remain virgins and they won’t give in to peer-pressure easily. Remind them that the Bible enjoins them to present their bodies as a living sacrifice, (holy and pure) unto the Lord (Romans 12:1).

Let them know that virginity is important to God. God’s Word emphasizes that it is the foundation for a good marriage (Hebrew 13:4). Marriage is a covenant, and sex is the sign of the covenant, the breaking of the hymen by one’s husband is crucial and has a spiritual significance.

Your Availability is important
Parents must be available for their children and invest time to get their children to become what God wants them to be. Training and nurturing a child in the way of the Lord, is not a day’s job. As a parent, you must create time to order and shape your teen’s life. If you create time to teach the children the way they should go, they will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6). Be your teenager’s friend, create time to discuss at length, so they can feel free to confide in you.

As you practise these principles that have been highlighted, your teenager will be pure and glorify God in his or her life.

Are you born again? If not, why not surrender your life to Christ today by saying this prayer:

“Dear Lord Jesus, I come to You today as a sinner. I believe You died for my sins and rose on the third day. Forgive me of my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.”

If you prayed this simple prayer, you are now a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).

Congratulations! You are now born again! All-round rest and peace are guaranteed you, in Jesus’ Name. Call or write, and share your testimonies with me through contact@faithoyedepo.org, and conselling@faithoyedepo.org; OR 07026385437 and 08141320204.

For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores:

Marriage Covenant
Making Marriage Work
Building A Successful Home
Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)

Click HERE to read other messages written by Pastor Faith Oyedepo


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