Topic: Relishing Marital Harmony (3)
Once again, you are welcome to this column. Today, we shall be looking at: ‘Understanding Men and Women’s Differences’
Understand that a man and woman are different. They are different not only physically but emotionally. Thus, when you realise this, you will understand your partner better. Men and women are created, not to compete with one another; they are created by God to complement one another. So that whatever is lacking in one, the other one will supply.
Men and women are different in the way they respond to life and things generally. When you get to understand these differences, it will help you to maximize the harmony that God has destined for your marriage.
Area of Differences in Men and Women
In their thinking trend
Men think in a straight line; and that helps them to maintain focus. So, when a man picks on one thing, he focusses on it until it is accomplished. But on the other hand, women, we are told, think a grid; and a grid is simply several lines. And that is why you find out, naturally speaking it is possible for a woman to start two or three things at the same time, and at the end of the day she may end up not really accomplishing any of them.
This is why, among other things, God instituted marriage to ensure a balance. Thus, balance is the key of harmony in marriage. So, when in a bid to maintain focus, a man leaves, the woman remains; sometimes, to say, Take it easy I need you, God needs you, the children need you. Also, when the woman seems to really not know which focus to maintain, the man is there in the home to say: In this area, I think you will do better, in that area why don’t you believe God to give you direction. He encourages her and then, she begins to take giant steps in the things of God. I have said over and again, ‘If there is anything like another world, I will still marry my husband, Bishop David Oyedepo because, among other things, he has helped me a great deal to discover my God-given potentials. For that, I will ever be grateful, because now I know I am on course with destiny and purpose.
In Terms of Priorities
Naturally speaking, for men, in terms of priority, it is work; but, to a woman, relationship is a priority. She values relationships, home, marriage and friends; and like we said, balance is the key.
It is very important to understand this: what oxygen is to a human being is what respect is to a husband from his wife. Just like a human being cannot survive without oxygen, a husband in a home cannot survive without respect from his wife. Thus, if a woman has an understanding of this, she will learn to respect her husband. Receive greater grace to begin to respect your husband; and as you begin to do so, you will enjoy greater harmony in your home.
Also, for the woman, what oxygen is to a human being is what love from a man is to his wife. The question is: Men how much do you love your wives? Some men keep saying, Well, my wife knows that I love her. Yes, she knows, but she wants you to always express it to her in words. You have to say it over and over again to her and let her know that you really love her. It was Lester Sumrall of blessed memory who said in his book “God’s Blueprint for a Happy Home, “ A man can never fully understand what the statement, ‘I love You’ can do in the life of his wife”. That is the way God made us. So, I say to the married men, say it over and again and harmony in your marriage is just beginning.
So, when you look at the differences, between men and women, you find out that balance is required. Also, it is very important to understand that no degree of success at the office can compensate for the failure in the home. You shall not be a failure!
Finally, it is important to know that love is a choice and it is the nature of God. Wherever God is, love is. Thus, for you to enjoy harmony in your marriage love must be at work. It was a wise man who said, “Love without truth is hypocrisy, and truth without love is brutality”. You will not be found either in hypocrisy or brutality in Jesus name! But rather, the love of God which is already shed abroad in your heart by the Holy Ghost will begin to empower, engrace and enable you to secure harmony in marriage.
You need wisdom to build your home and God is the source of that wisdom. If, peradventure, you are not born again and you want to accept Jesus as your Lord and personal Saviour, then say this prayer in faith: Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to You today. I am a sinner. Forgive me my sins and cleanse me with Your Blood. I accept You as my Lord and personal Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for delivering me from sin and satan to serve the living God and thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.
Congratulations! If you prayed this simple prayer of faith with me, you are now born again and a child of God. He loves you and will never leave you. Read your Bible daily, obey God’s Word and seek Christian fellowship (John 14:21).
With this, you are guaranteed all-round rest and peace in Jesus’ Name! Call or write to share your testimonies with me through email@example.com, 07026385437 OR 08141320204.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores: Marriage Covenant, Making Marriage Work, Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored)
Pastor Faith Oyedepo is the wife of Bishop David Oyedepo, the founder of the Living Faith Church Worldwide a.k.a. Winners’ Chapel, and Senior Pastor of Faith Tabernacle, Canaanland, Ota, Nigeria.