Pastor Faith Oyedepo

Child Training: Joint Responsibility of Both Parents

Dear Reader,

You are welcome to another time with Family Life. By the Word of God, I will be looking at Child Training as joint responsibility of both parents. God had given the responsibility of child training to parents. That is why this week, I want to say to parents, “Accept your parental responsibility.”

There is a way each child should go, and parents have the responsibility of locating and training them in it. When they do, the children will not depart from that way, when they are old. The Word of God says: Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22:6).

From the above scripture, God did not mention who, particularly, should do the training, but definitely it is the parents. I mean both parents, because neither the father nor the mother alone can give birth to a child. It is a combination of forces; therefore, the training must be done by both parents. Child training is not just the responsibility of the mother alone; it is that of both the father and the mother. For example, in Nigerian culture, every good and well-behaved child belongs to the father, but the one that is bad and corrupt is for the mother. Remember, it is a combination of forces that brought the child to be; so it must be a combination of forces that will fulfill that commandment.

Both parents must create time for their children, so that they will not become thorns in their flesh tomorrow. Training your children in the fear of the Lord, is your primary responsibility. Do not lay it aside. Both parents ought to fulfill their parts and make it a joint effort. The Bible says in Ecclesiastics 4:9: Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labor. As parents, pay close attention to your children, create time to listen to them, fellowship together with them and give them opportunities to ask you questions that are bothering them. Learn to create time for fun and excitements, and all tension will be defused. Do not allow your children to become products of neglect; do not be too busy to attend to them. I pray for a release of grace upon you now, for fulfillment in Jesus’ mighty name.

As parents, you should bear in mind that the children of today are the leaders of tomorrow; they constitute the future generation. The mistake some parents make is to assume that the Church, society or school is responsible for the training of their children. Although these agencies have certain contributions to make towards child training, but the responsibility of the parents is more. This is because growing children spend a greater percentage of their time at home. This is to say, the home plays a major role in the upbringing of children.

Some parents, in a bid to make it in business and career, they neglect to spend time with their children. They are too busy making money. They leave their homes early in the morning and return late at night, particularly, those in the cities. They keep busy, trying to make ends meet financially, but unfortunately, they seldom do. They continue to pursue money and they have neglected their primary responsibility of training their children.

Some parents, because they want to have more time for their business concerns and other personal things, send their children to boarding schools. This is not to say that boarding schools are wrong. But if the motive behind sending your children is to shift responsibility, then it’s wrong, no matter the type of boarding school they are in. Such parents see children as burdens, rather than blessings from the Lord. The Word of God says: Lo, children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is his reward (Psalm 127:3).

The destinies of many children have been marred because they have been left to house-helps to raise. The Church is being robbed of her future great men and women, because many godly parents are producing ungodly children. Our responsibility is to stop the intention of the devil over the lives of our children, by accepting our responsibility to bringing them up in the way of the Lord.
Many parents in the past have successfully raised their children, some of who grew up to become assets to God in their generation.

Timothy: Timothy became one of the most respected bishops in the New Testament. Behind his outstanding success is the influence of his mother and grandmother, Eunice and Lois. The Word of God says: When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in you, which dwelled first in your grandmother Lois, and your mother Eunice; and I am persuaded that in you also (2 Timothy 1:5).
Timothy was such a godly child, that he was well reported of by the brethren. He had such a good testimony that Paul would have him as a companion (Acts 16:1-3). How could Timothy have been taught the Scriptures without the active involvement of his parents? This is why the Church needs more of Eunice and Lois today.

Jesus: The excellent results Jesus had in ministry, are rooted in His excellent upbringing. Although not much is written about Joseph, the influence of both Joseph and Mary is described in Jesus’ life and ministry. They were such responsible parents. The Word of God says: And he went down with them, and came to Nazareth, and was subject to them: but his mother kept all these sayings in her heart (Luke 2:51).

The fact that Jesus was subject (obedient) unto His parents showed that they did a very good job in training Him, else Jesus would have rebelled or objected to their ungodly training. I believe that because both parents fulfilled their parental responsibilities, there was no vacuum created in the life of Jesus. When He was needed in the carpenter’s shop, He was there as the son of Joseph. He could well have said, “I am the Son of God, I won’t go to the shed today.” But He remained submissive to them.

Daniel: Daniel, one of the princes in captivity, distinguished himself in the land of Babylon. He was living amidst gross corruption. He purposed in his heart not to defile himself, and his desire was granted (Daniel 1:8). I believe one of the secrets of his success was the good upbringing he received back at home. He was able to differentiate between righteousness and sin. Even in the land of captivity, he was a man of good character in a world of compromise.

The grace you need to train your children can be released to you, by surrendering your life to Christ. Therefore, if you are not born again and want to be born again, you have to confess your sins and accept Jesus as your Saviour and your Lord. If you are ready for this new birth experience, please say this prayer:

Dear Lord Jesus Christ, I come to you today as a sinner. Forgive me of my Sins. I believe You died and rose on the third day for my sins. I accept You as my Lord and Saviour. Make me a child of God today. Thank You for accepting me into Your Kingdom.

Congratulations!  You are now born again! Till I come your way next time, please call or write, and share your testimonies with me through: E-mail:,; Tel.  No: 08141320204; 07026385437.
For more insight, these books authored by me are available at the Dominion Bookstores in all the Living Faith Churches and other leading Christian bookstores:

  • Making Marriage Work
  • Marriage Covenant
  • Building A Successful Home and Success in Marriage (Co-Authored).

Click Here To Read Other Messages Written By Pastor Faith Oyedepo